Anyone who cares for a living being is a mother. Especially the human being is the only living creature that needs the most care while growing and needs the presence of a healthy adult to make sense of what is happening around it.
Experts point out that although the focus in child development seems to be on the child, in fact, the mental health of parents and especially mothers should be considered first. Altınbaş University Child Development Program Lect. See. Clinical Psychologist İrem Burcu Kurşun said, “Most mothers think that if their child is good, it will be fine, but in fact the opposite is true. If you, as a mother, can stay calm and well, your child will stay calm, ”and drew attention to the need for healthy mothers to be healthy first.
"Every mother should be aware of herself first"
Clinical Psychologist Kurşun says, "The way to understand children is to understand yourself," and "For this reason, every mother should be aware of her own feelings first. In the presence of the child and the difficulties you experience in his care, what you feel is important, not how you should feel. Understanding your emotion makes it easier for you to understand your child. “As a mother, being aware of what you love and your own needs is important for building a good relationship with your child. Zaman zamIn the moment, you may need to stay with yourself and do the things you love. It is important that you realize these and ask for help from the people around you”, explained İrem Burcu Kurşun, adding that although both parents are responsible for the care of the child, mothers in particular make more sacrifices and take more responsibility.
Stating that mothers instinctively behave in the care of their children, Kurşun stated that the anxiety they experience often makes things difficult, “Think of a moment when your child cried a lot and you could not calm him down. You have no idea why he might be crying. The more you get tense, the more your baby cries, unless you can understand his crying. After a while, when you hold the baby in your arms, you find it difficult to calm him down because your baby feels your nervous and anxious state. Since my mother is nervous, she thinks there is something to cry about and cries more. "If you can calm yourself down, talk to your baby with a calm tone of voice and gentle touch, it will calm down after a while."
"Focus on the moment, not what it should be"
Clinical Psychologist İrem Burcu Kurşun emphasized that children go through a lot of conflicts while growing up and that being able to manage these conflicts well as a mother is important for the child to be a healthy and responsible adult with a developed empathy. Kurşun said, “While growing up, children go through difficult experiences and push the limits of their parents. Because he wants to see his parent be by his side under any circumstances. In such situations, your calmness will be important in all circumstances to accompany the child's life experience and help your child make sense. Ask yourself what I need to calm down. Focus on the moment, not what it should be. "Notice your emotions and listen to your emotions."
Stating that every mother is responsible for her children but may need help in every other issue, Clinical Psychologist İrem Burcu Kurşun said, “Everyone may have different ideas about motherhood. But every child is different, and every mother knows her child better than anyone else. Therefore, commenting on women's motherhood should be avoided as much as possible. Every experience is special and different. Neither does every mother go through any process in her own motherhood experience exactly the same as other mothers. It is important to show social support to mothers in dealing with these difficulties ”.